Tuesday, August 09, 2005

عملیات ضد گلاب

س. عزیز لطف کرد و متن ایمیلی که برام فراسته بود را به فارسی هم نوشت. ما هر دو فکر کردیم که شاید این موضوع برای دوستان فارسی زبان جالب باشه. البته میدونم که خیلی از خواننده های این سایت هم به فارسی هم انگلیسی تسلط دارند اما خوب ضرری که نداره اگر فارسی این مطلب هم در سایت باشه.

فقط یک چیز دیگر هست و ان هم اینه که س. دسترسی به فانت فارسی نداشت و متن را برای من به پینگلیش نوشت و من به فانت فارسی تبدیلش کردم. بنا برین اگر اشتباه های دیکته پیدا کردین تقصیر من کم سواد است!

حالا این هم داستانی که س. برام فرستاد:


"این روزها به خاطر بمب گذاریهایی که در لندن اتفاق افتاد پلیس نیویورک به حالت اماده باش در امده. یکی از طرحای جدید گشتها یی هستند که داخل ایستگاهای قطار ساکهای مردم را میگردند و افراد مشکوک را بازجویی میکنند.

جالب اینه که سازمان امنیتی امریکا عوامل مشکوک را اینطور تعریف کرده: مردان جوان با قیافه های شرقی که احیانا لباس های گشاد پوشیده باشند که احیانا به شدت در حال عرق کردن هستند و یا به شدت در حال دعا کردن یا نماز خوندن هستند و یا بالاخره کسانی که بوی گلاب میدهند!

بارک الله به اقایون! گیرم که حفاظت 8 ملیون قطار سوار کار مهم و دشواریه ولی بعد از 4 سال فکر و برنامه ریزی و خرج جنگ علیه تروریزم انتظار نداشتم که اقایون این پولیسهای بیچاره را وادار به بو کردن تک تک قطار سواران نیویورکی بکنند!

به نظر من کسانی که در تهران و لس انجلس نشستند و هنوز فکر میکنند اگر امریکا فقط اراده بکنه مشکل ایران حل است به اندازه طراحان این عملیات ضد گلاب ساده هستند!"

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Thank god they rescued those Russians stuck in the submarine, I was feeling claustrophic ever since I heard the news. Like a couple of years ago when a group of miners got stuck underground in the U.S., I felt I couldn't breath right until they were rescued too.

*

Robin Cook died, i felt pretty bad about it. I'm sure Blair is relieved though. if only Ken Livingston and George Galloway would collapse too, then Blair would really have it made.

*

Did you know that the Kurds refused a part in the Iraqi constitution that would recognize Iranian-Iraqis ("Persians") to be recognized as a ethnic minority in Iraq? Juan Cole writes about it in this post.

I can't quite figure out why the Kurds would be opposed to it, unless some external group(s)put pressure on them to do so. Afterall, the Kurds refuse to accept that Iraq should be categorized as an "Arab nation", so why wouldn't they be for the inclusion of another non-Arab minority that clearly exists in Iraq? Well, I have some theories, but they are better left unsaid for now.

Friday, August 05, 2005

The U.S. is thinking of denying the new Iranian president a visa to speak at the UN due to allegations that Ahmadinejhad was involved in both the 1979 hostage taking and the 1989 murder of an Iranian Kurdish dissident in Vienna.

I'm not against it, actually, but let them be consistent about it. So, how about denying Ariel Sharon a Visa for his "alleged" involvement in the Sabra and Shatila massacre of civilians in 1982, Or Jalal Talbani for his "alleged" role in killing fellow Kurds during the civil conflicts of the early 90s, Putin for his "alleged" murderous rampages of collective punishment against the Chechens, Musharraf for his "alleged" brutality as a military dictator...well, you get the idea.

It's sad, really. And everyone who reads this blog knows I didn't vote for Ahmadinejhad. I even went into a near depression when he was elected. But like it or not, the man won with a landslide, and despite the Iranian electoral system's many serious flaws, he has to be dealt with as the elected leader.

And now, the administration of the U.S. president who belittled, bullied, and ignored the U.N. to make his case for an illegal invasion of Iraq and who appointed a thug that the even the U.S. congress was against as the ambassador to the U.N, wants to misuse its position as host to the UN headquarters to antagonize another state. Meanwhile, the new Iranian adminstration has rejected the EU's package offering incentives in exchange for Iran's compliance with its demands on pursuing nuclear energy.

Two extremist administrations, both rooted in religious ideologies, pushing one anothers' buttons at every turn, with the EU in between as usual, trying to loot as much as it can from conflicts between fanatics.

Rosewater Terrorists

Our dear friend S. who lives in New York City, wrote me an email yesterday about new NYPD measures to prevent any London-style attacks in the NY City subways. We were so shocked at how misguided and silly they are, that we just laughed out loud in disbelief. I think the Department of Homeland Security (who is behind the guidelines) is in serious need of hiring some decent consultants.

With S.'s permission I am reproducing his email here so you can see for yourself what I mean:

hi niki jaan, i read about this really funny thing with the ny
police dept. you know they're doing random checks of people's bags
in the subways, and there's been a lot of discussion about the
racial profiling aspect of that. so the dept of home. sec. has
guidelines for suspicious looking subway riders; asides from
looking like they're from a certain part of the world, the police
are trained now to look for: excessive perspiration, intense
praying (on the subway!) and-get this-smell of rosewater! can you
believe it???!!!! "Golab"!!! the nypd is doing olefactory profiling
of any golab smelling, suspicious, brown, terrorists!

the golab thing was really funny to me, since it reminded me of my
moalem dini [religion teacher], and the smell of namaz Khaneh [prayer
room]in elementary school.

it sounded like the sort of silly thing that demands a sarcastic
remark in some blog.


I know flower-based scents are really popular for the summer months, but i advise anyone remotely middle-eastern looking to think twice before putting on such perfumes and colognes.

Anyway, I think the Persian speaking audience would get a big kick out of this story, so it might be a good idea to translate it and post it here and elsewhere. Do you want to do it S. or should I?

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Links Day

1. The Gift that Keeps on Giving

First they stole Palestine and gave it away, then the British helped Israel get the nuclear bomb. So once again: کار کار انگلیسهاست

2. Bye-a Taya

The 2 decade long reign of another pro-U.S. dictator came to an end this week when Mauritanian autocrat Maaouyia Ould Taya was overthrown through a bloodless coup. Although the U.S. and Brittain have predictably condemned the loss of one of their boys, no one in Mauritania seems to have noticed, as all continues to be calm after the removal of Taya.

3. Taking the High Ground

I always admire people who can have sympathy even for those who cause them the greatest harm. This week, Iranian judge Massoud Moghaddas, was shot dead as he left work. His resume includes giving out harsh sentences and badly treating activists and writers, including journalist Akbar Ganji and the satirist Ebrahim Nabavi. Since his assassination, howeve, Ebrahim Nabavi and Ganji's wife have both issued statements condemning his murder and sending their condolences to his family.

Moghaddas, as many people know, was a deputy of the notorius judge Mortazavi. What do you suppose Mortazavi is thinking during Moghaddas' funeral, as he sits besides the coffin:



I had some funny ideas for photo-shopping this photo and/or adding captions. But then i thought that it wouldn't be the most sensitive or self-preserving thing to do!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

The Democracy of F14s

I don't usually like to waste my energy confronting militaristic types whose sole wish is to bomb us to oblivion, nor do I like to go around making nationalistic about protecting the sovereignty of Iran, but every now and again, when the iranian roller coaster reaches one of its peaks and these opportunists jump in like vultures, i have to let off steam.

So i left a message on the revolting site of Regime Change for Iran, telling them to mind their own business.

A fellow with the pathetic name of F14, left this comment for me, ending his note with this warning: "Now, think twice and be advised that change in your country never happens unless a foreign force comes to rescue you".

i had to tell the silly man that were it not for the U.S. administered coup of 1953 that reinstalled the dictator shah, we would most likely be in our 52 year of a secular democratic republic. i also reminded him about a little thing in international law called state sovereignty, and that U.S. disregard for it notwithstanding, it is still illegal to attack nation-states for no apparent reason. besides, i said, why don't you go fix the mess you got yourself into in iraq before you come blasting down our doors. Finally, i told him that their interventions and cynical appropriation of events in iran always work to the advantage of the most extreme elements in our society, making it even harder for those of us who want change from within: by iranians, for iranians.

Anyway, seems like they hated my comments, because i can't find them anywhere on their site. just goes to show what kind of democracy they want to bring to Iranians.

So, mr. F14 and gang, you can keep on cultivating a sense of consensus in your imaginary world, but you will continue to be challenged by Iranians and their allies. Meanwhile, you're just shooting blanks.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

i went to the roof to see the city at dawn, but because i am afraid of heights (or, more precisely, i am afraid of myself: i always fear that my body may just spontaneously throw itself over the edge), i stayed crouching with my back against an inside wall.

still it was quite pleasurable, cloudy and cool, with the kind of clean air i'm not used to inhaling around these parts. we got the key to the roof just recently, otherwise i am sure i would have ventured up there before. such a quiet,safe space, where you can be alone without arousing any unwanted attention from gawking passersby. i wish i had known about the refuge of the roof earlier.

sleeplessness is dreadful, but it has its occasional discoveries....

Monday, August 01, 2005

"Heechi"--part II



When he was leaving the above pictured goodbye "party" (one of many they seem to be throwing for him these days), Khatami was questioned by a bunch of reporters waiting for him. One of them asked what he was planning to do on behalf of Akbar Ganji, the political prisoner on the verge of death from his hunger strike.

Khatami's response: "Heechi ("nothing")...most of the problems [concerning his case] are due to the man himself"

What a shame, khatami continues to betray the promises he made to Iranians up until the very last days of his presidency.