Friday, March 05, 2004

Man, this happens to me almost every thursday night. i drink a big cup of coffee in the late afternoon so that i am energetic when i teach my class, and then i pay the price at night because i can't sleep. tonight i'm a little sick and i have to use my brain in a public setting tomorrow, so the insomnia is really going to cost me pretty bad this time.

i also internalize whatever bad or stressful thing happens to people i care about, and maybe that is what has put me more on edge. usually the internalization comes through when i sleep. ocassionally, like tonight, it prevents me from escaping my consciousness.

last week a friend of mine called me in a panic to confide a pretty risky sexual indiscretion. I helped to calm her down. The whole thing wasn't all that bad, all things considered, but i think i worried for her anyway. so that night i dream that i am about to engage in some sexual indiscretion myself, when suddenly i notice a bunch of my family members (many of whom have inexplicably turned into midgets) looking over at me in silent horror from a balcony overhead. somehow i am fully dressed in the dream but the man i am with is naked. i crawl to the floor but he remains on the bed, on his stomach, and we both stare back at my family from below. i wake up disturbed, and to distract myself from the lingering feeling of my family's eyes on me, i try to remember what the guy in the dream looked like. but all i can recall is his bare back and a long pink tongue, flicking out at me.

ok, anyway, i know hearing about people's dreams is one of the most boring things ever, so sorry, blame it on my insomnia or better yet, blame it on tony, the little boy who lives in my throat.