Thursday, March 25, 2004

I don't know how people can tolerate having the same conversations over and over. i have a fear of it, though it is subsiding (a bad sign!). i used to preface almost everything i said with "let me know if i already told you this..." because i wanted to give my interlocutors the chance to spare themselves the repetition. now i don't use so many disclaimers, but maybe i should take it back up.

this is the longest time i've spent in this town in many years, and i'm even starting to revert to some of my teenage habits like thinking about sex constantly and just generally daydreaming all day long.

in itself that is not so bad, i suppose, but there is something about suburban spaces that just sucks the soul right out of you. a kind of perverse curiosity about other people's lives seeps into you in a way that doesn't happen in big cities or somewhat progressive towns.

like yesterday i took my grandmother for blood tests and a moderately disgusting rocker couple were checking in as we were leaving. the woman was the one who was having bloodwork done and i found myself eyeing her lab sheets which seemed to be marked for Hepatitis B antigen, Hepatitis B antibody, or HIV antibody test. well, i thought to myself, at least the moderately disgusting rocker couple are also moderately responsible.

but the whole thing made me feel pretty bad about my own nosiness and also about their's. they were eyeing my paperwork too, which doesn't excuse my behavior any, but just goes to show the ethos of this place.

I bored you with this post, didn't I? Sorry, don't blame me, blame suburbia.