Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Chicken Soup for My Apathy

I'm sitting here eating what must be my 10th bowl of soup in two days, and I am finally starting to come out of the peculiar mix of sensitivity and apathy that hits me every time I get sick. The hyper-sensitivity always comes first. On Thursday I got on the bus and sat next to a girl with a bloody mouth and scratches on her face. I couldn't tell if she was attacked or if she fell off her bike or something. Of course I asked her if she was okay and she said she was, and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable by insisting. But then the whole ride home I had a lump in my throat and the strongest urge to just put my arms around the complete stranger crying silently next to me. I should have known then that I was getting sick. I mean under normal circumstances I would have been concerned about the girl, but not so much so that I would feel like I was on the verge of losing it. So what happens next in my illness trajectory is that my body/mind gets drained from the emotional onslaught, and I enter into the apathy phase, which I am not quite out of yet. This explains why today I was more interested in reading about a platinum and diamond Hello Kitty Doll than looking into, say, what is behind this photo of a young man being hauled out of Friday prayers for an outburst during Rafsanjani's speech.
Ah, Well, I am off to have more soup, and hope to be back to my (ab)normal self in a day or two.